A lot has happened in the past few weeks.
Despite my attempts to stay healthy, I got really sick right before the US Half Marathon Championships in Houston.
After multiple days off and sleeping, my coach and I decided attempting to race anyways would be a mistake.
At first, I felt okay about my decision; I was disappointed and sad to miss a great race that I was ready for, but I knew I needed to rest and keep on track to be healthy for my Spring marathon debut.
Then I watched the race and saw the results.
I’m not sure I can fully explain how I felt, but a million emotions rushed through my veins.
I was thrilled for my training partner and teammate, Lauren Kleppin, who took 2nd and ran 1:12.12 (a huge 3 minute PR).
I was also really excited for my teammate, JB, who took 3rd and ran a 50 second PR, as well as my teammate Gabe, who took 10th and ran almost a 3 minute PR.
As excited as I was, the disappointment and the tears and the frustration came. I know there will be other races. I know that my career is just starting. I know I can’t say, what if I was there…what if…what if…what if…
But, I couldn’t help but feel really sad and disappointed that I wasn’t there.
I ran that day feeling a bit better, running 13 miles in town over hill I could find. And I spent the day will tears flooding my eyes and trying to understand why.
Distance running is full of ups and downs. Sickness and injuries can hold even the best of the best back. There will always be another race and a continued pursuit of a great career, but it doesn’t take away the pain of missing a great opportunity. It does, however, light a different kind of fire. It’s the kind of fire that can’t be put out.
Staying back in Mammoth and resting has allowed me to refocus and continue to work hard, narrowing down my choices for a Spring marathon, and even look towards another half marathon. It has allowed me, once again, to put my faith in Christ. He has a purpose in everything, even in timing for races.
And, as I’ve taken a deep breathe and continued to train, I am seeing God’s faithfulness in other parts of my life besides running.
A few days ago, I was approached about a job, working for a software company, X1. I just starting Friday as a junior project manager. The best part? Not only do I love working, but I am blessed to work in a really wonderful (and cute) office with a few Christian ladies. Answer to prayer? You bet. One hundred and ten percent. It has felt like home right away—and that it is totally God’s hand in things. I’ve prayed a lot these past few months that God would provide some Christian friends + fellowship. The answer to prayer came out of the blue and all of the sudden. And, I feel surprised and blessed.
So, with my mason jars of iced coffee (or muscle milk), nut butter, and miles in my new Asics flats, I feel really blessed and ready to keep pursuing my career as a professional runner. Or, I could say, to continue to walk faithfully as a Christian…that happens to run
And, more than ever, spending time in God’s Word is nourishing my soul…
As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.- Psalm 18:30
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.- Lamentations 3:25
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my coenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.-Isaiah 54:10