Woes and Wildflowers.

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers–most of which are never even seen–don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”- Matthew 6:30-33 (The Message)

Before I start, I’m listening to “Come on My Soul” by Rend Collective Experiment. Incredible.

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This post my step on some toes, including my own.

I love to read blogs and to see into other’s lives, how they live out their faith, how they love others, how they write.

And, lately, I’ve read some brokenness and hurt and pain. The response? Love yourself more. Do what makes you happy. Put yourself first for awhile.

Isn’t that the easy thing when we’re hurt?

When I struggle with decisions or conflict, it usually includes me calling my mom and telling her my woes, how I need vent, or to explain myself and my frustrations.

Graciously, my mom brings me back to the perspective of Christ: love others. Love Christ and love others. He will take care of me. 

When you feel like you’ve been serving, been loving, and still hurting….ask God to fill you up and heal you. Love more. Trust His grace more. Trust that He will take care of you.

Some of my woes lately:

1. I miss community. I now live in a tiny mountain town, where the ratio of men to women is 9-1. I miss my college friends and living with my best friends. The reality is, my community will not look the same here. It will be very very different. So, my focus needs to be on loving the ones I’m around, instead of who can pour into me, or who can make me feel at home. That’s why I have Christ. That’s why I have wonderful friends I stay in touch with. God placed me here not so that I could be in comfortable community. I think, if anything, it’s that I need to trust him and know I’m here for a bigger purpose: it includes being a bit more on my own….and trusting He will provide me with all the support I need to do His work. And, soon I will be involved in Mammoth YL! 

2. I miss my church. I miss my home church and I miss my church in Azusa. There is one church in town that has night services, and it doesn’t feel like home. Something actually doesn’t sit right in my spirit. Needless to say, it’s been a challenge. So, I am praying that God will either open another opportunity or provide something (not sure what). And, until then, church might look different. But, God won’t leave me lonely. And, quite honestly, it’s not about me. I have to be more focused on how I can be the church rather than what I can take from church.

So, I am praying that the Lord continues to shift my perspective. I am not alone. I am not on my own. I am filled with God’s Spirit, charging ahead with His might, and graciously trying to seep my way into other’s lives to affect them with God’s love. 

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