Fullness.

I was reading the Word this morning and thinking about the fullness the Lord calls us to live in.

“…And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. 

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us…”

Ephesians 3:19-20 (message version)

I called my mom this morning and talked about the things I struggle with, the things that irk me, the continual longing for the community I had in college, a church that feels like home…loneliness that the independent part of me refuses to admit to most people.

My mom encouraged me to be positive. I got upset and defensive, but … 15 miles of a solid long provides time to think and pray.

Instead of complaining, I need to pray. I must be dedicated to a life of prayer, a life that is full of God’s Spirit. 

And, my mom, as always, is right. I love where I am. I love running in Mammoth. I work at a sweet coffee shop. She reminds me: this is sports ministry.

But, the part of me that misses Bible classes, nights of prayer with my roommates, challenging messages, being surrounded by believers, laughing til tears with my best friend….

Those memories turn into “i wish i had that…”

Those memories are sweet and life-giving. But, the longing for that again makes me pessimistic in the present. Like a constant craving for those same things. 

That’s not the fullness the Lord calls me to or desires for me. 

And, the more I turn those thoughts to thankfulness and joyful prayers, the more I can see the Lord shape my heart in the present. 

I am reminded: God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!

If I trust the Lord. If I give him my heart, my dreams, my desires, …He can do anything.

And, my future and the present can be the richest parts of my life: seeing where the Lord is shaping me…how He’s guiding me…how I can seek him more, to continue to see ways to serve him and serve others.

And, I’m thankful I have a mom that is my best friend, and a woman of wisdom. This life is full of ups and downs, valleys and gorgeous mountains. And, the times we ride the waves…we experience the fullness of God’s grace:

“Everything is interim. Everything is a path or a preparation for the next thing, and we never know what the next thing is. Life is like that, of course, twisty and surprising. But life with God is like that exponentially. We can dig in, make plans, write in stone, pretend we’re not listening, but the voice of God has a way of being heard. It seeps in like smoke or vapor even when we’ve barred the door against any last-minute changes, and it moves us to different countries and different emotional territories and different ways of living. It keeps us moving and dancing and watching, and never lets us drop down into a life set on cruise control or a life ruled by remote control. Life with God is a dancing dream, full of flashes and last-minute exits and generally all the things we’ve said we’ll never do. And with the surprises comes great hope.” -Shauna Niequist.

I hear the Lord’s voice when I run.

And, because running now is my profession…I run a lot.

Meaning, if I listen…

I will hear the Lord’s voice daily.

Maybe I should choose to live in God’s fullness more.

 

 

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