Only thirty seconds in the conversation about college and post-grad life, I started to say…
Then I smiled, and laughed.
“Kaela, I do that all the time. I mean, all the time. I don’t have roommates anymore. I have my own apartment. But, it’s like I’m on a long break from living with my roommates. And, I keep thinking..at some point, we’ll live together again…”
I didn’t think college would include the feelings of a break-up from: friends, my community, collegiate running…ahh, and if I must say it, crazy paper writing and challenging conversations in my Bible classes. But, in my honesty, it has been.
It has been a challenge.
Kaela and I met at Jack’s Urban Eats, one of my favorite places.
She’s a lifetime friend, more like a sister. We grew up going to each other’s birthday parties, vowing to be best friends, vowing to be there for each other.
And, we’ve stuck to it.
We don’t see each other hardly ever. We were babies together. Then, we lived an hour from each other. We went to rival colleges. We studied different things. I’m a year older, so I’ve always experienced things before…like…graduating college.
And, in our sisterhood that we have, knit between us, we grabbed dinner and talked about hard things. Hard post-college things. Like, grieving the loss of college life. Finding a different community. Missing your best friends. Missing an apartment or house full of your favorite people.
And, I reassured her.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
Trusting God, means, really trusting him.
Friendship means plane tickets and road trips. Intentional phone calls. Skype dates. Letters.
Prayer means asking for peace and clarity in the midst of uncertainty.
It’s ok to be…well, a bit sad, nervous, excited, happy, fearful, ….and the list goes on.
But, I told her…
I’ve learned a lot. God has challenged me a lot. And, I’m still learning and growing. And, there are many joyful things about graduating.
I told her my struggles, my uncertainties, my unknowns when I have nothing to complain about or be nervous about. I am beyond blessed.
But then, I told her my blessings. The joys. The things I love.
I told her about my friendships that have grown.
The wedding I get to be in this summer.
The trips to So Cal to see some of my closest friends.
The encouraging letters and calls and conversations.
My college roommates are all doing different things..but…
The sweet and peaceful thing is, at the same time, we are all in the same spot. We are seeking the Lord. Seeking what it looks like to graduate. To not always know the next step. But, to trust him.
After dinner, I walked into a coffee shop before heading home. The sweet lady at the register asked me how my night was and I told her I had dinner with a close friend and talked about post-grad life, and that even if you have a wonderful job when you graduate, it can be quite a transition. Many people stress the importance of a job…but there are also other things to transition from, and those things, aren’t talked about too often. And…as the words came out my mouth, she smiled.
“That’s how I felt when I became a mom. I was so excited. You’re always excited for the next chapter. But, it can be very different than you think. I was so happy to be a mom, but no one told me my baby’s skin would shed off a week after she was born…”
And she laughed and smiled.
I loved seeing a stranger, vulnerable. And, I pray we do that more as people of faith and as Christ followers. It’s ok to not always know, or to have the right answer, or to know the next step.
I think, Christ calls us to something much greater than that:
I also think, he calls us or me…out of the grieving stage and to see where He is working. Where He is moving me. Where He is challenging me.
And, that’s what I am moving and working towards and seeing, God is much more faithful than I. He is always timely. He always knows what’s next. And, He knows that I need him as my Admissions Counselor to post-grad life.